CANADIAN GRAND PRIX

It finally happened!

Sure, the end result was stolen away. But the real thing I've been waiting for this race season - that kind of nerve-wracking, heart-pounding, nausea-inducing drama - finally arrived for the Canadian Grand Prix. It was the kind of drama that makes F1 such an amazing (and unhealthy) pastime.

Canada was what I was waiting for and I didn't even know it.

Race Date: Sunday, June 9, 2019

Other than the obvious drama (which was, of course, *raw theater*), there was another enjoyable element of absurdity at the track this weekend, which came in the unlikely form of DUST. Dust everywhere! I mistakenly assumed that a desert track would naturally be dustier than somewhere with a more moderate climate like Canada. But I assumed wrong, because this track was way dirtier and way dustier than any of the actual desert tracks we've been to so far.

Was this because of the track usage? The newly constructed paddock? The fact that it's on a manmade island? Who knows!

Also, several people nearly ran over the track's groundhog / marmot. This should spark conversation. For me, it's like, let's remove the groundhogs from the island and put them somewhere which is safe for them and also safe for the drivers who are commandeering million dollar speed machines. It just makes sense. I know it's Canada and a mascot and all, but like, guys, we can put the groundhogs back after the even. Just please, let's move them for everyone's sake. Although if we did actually accomplish that, we wouldn't get hilarious radio messages from Kimi alerting everybody that there's some kind of animal in the middle of the road.

And finally, a word on this weekend's stunning moment of legendary drama.

I, like the rest of the sane and informed majority, can only side with the boys in red regarding the "penalty debate". Namely, "Should Sebastian Vettel have been given a 5 second time penalty for returning to the track 'unsafely' while he was in the lead?" My answer to this, you'll find, is a resounding "OF COURSE NOT" , which I think it has already become clear is what everyone else (except the FIA, apparently) thinks, too. The commentators and the fans were all like, "No way is this going to result in a penalty." Which makes sense, because all Seb was doing was actually racing, for which the FIA handed him a 5 second time penalty.

I ask you: How is Seb supposed to accomplish anything this season if the FIA punishes racers for racing?

How is anybody supposed to accomplish anything if the FIA punishes racers for racing?

But it's especially upsetting for Ferrari. They've already had one race stolen from then this year in Bahrain, when Charles lead the whole race until a car issue stopped him at the end. That one stung, but it was only Ferrari's fault.

Then we endured several nothing races, and then the ultimate soul-crushing disappointment of Monaco, only to arrive in Canada. Where, at the last minute, Seb stole pole.

This time, Seb earned pole, lead the whole race, did everything right, and he still didn't win.

This is where things start to get serious.

The race, itself, was incredible to watch, and I'd watch this whole TV event again in an instant. This was simply an excellent race and exciting down to the last minute.

I do have to say that, even though this was a tragic result, it was still easier to live with than Monaco. In Monaco, that was just team failure and incompetence. But Canada? That was a deserved win that was wrongfully stolen. Two totally different things.

The good thing about Canada was that it did give us some of the best post-race drama I've seen in a long time, easily ranking up there with other insane post-race controversies, which make for the most memorable races. And the best TV.

Despite everything, at least we will always be able to treasure the image of Sebastian Vettel walking up to the position markers in front of the cars and switching it so that Hamilton was 2 and Seb was 1. It was a moment that will always represent the great drama of F1 for me forever.

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Free Practice 1

- Canada was building a new paddock building all last year and it’s really impressive

- BUT it’s like they haven’t swept the track all year so it’s AMAZINGLY DUSTY, like even dustier than the desert tracks we’ve been to 

- Max on radio: “the track is insanely dirty” 

- Like you can’t even see down a straight piece of track very far because of the dust 

- Ugh here come the Stroll fans, who are these people and how can they exist

- Grosjean’s car rolled out of the Haas garage and took part of the floor paint with him cause his tires were so sticky

- Nicholas Latifi from F2 is sitting in this session for Kubica at Williams 

- Everyone has a bunch of updates here, specifically Charles and Seb have new MGUH engines 

- Gio hit the wall and messed up his left rear and now we have a virtual safety car and the car is parked off the racing line but it really should be red flagged 

- they're discussing how, of the four rookies, Gio “seems to be struggling the most” 

- Seb spins at the hairpin

- I expected Canada to be a pretty solid track but it’s kind of falling apart right away

- Ummm is everyone hearing this that Kvyat’s girlfriend is due to have her first child with him around the British Grand Prix? Kvyat is going to be a father 

- Bottas has a loss of fuel pressure 

- Lance Stroll in Hamilton’s way even though they are apparently “good friends” 

Free Practice 2 

- Hamilton hits he wall!! And he can’t go on in this session! Blessed 

- 5 place grid penalty for Gio for a new gearbox probably from the spin in FP1

- When Martin Brundle and Jenson Button were talking trackside, the stands behind them erupted in cheers and it was because Charles got the fastest lap and everyone wants him to be successful

- Every time people go off the racing line, it’s a cloud of dust like a rain cloud 

- Max was doing a fast lap and then came around a corner and LBP was there and didn’t get out of the way and then it distracted Max and he brushed the Wall of Champions with the front right tire but the whole thing was poor planning by Red Bull to put Max out too close 

- Lance stroll checked Grosjean for no reason

- bits of Bottas Mercedes flew off possibly because of tangle with Magnussen and Charles did great job avoiding the debris 

- Just when Crofty said Ferrari was finally showing speed, Seb ran over a huge curb 

Free Practice 3

- did they just film lance stroll strolling into the men’s bathroom or 

- The floor came up into Grosjean’s car tires AGAIN 

- WHAT is Lewis wearing in the paddock right now. Yellow sunglasses and a hideous bandana 

- Now Haas is just cutting away the floor epoxy in the garage so it won’t stick to the tires - Lance Stroll had a hydraulic leak and so the car is smoking and it’s a small emergency. That’s A LOT of fire. Does this count as the home race curse?

- now Ferrari is scraping the epoxy off the floor too

- they're investigating Lando for rejoining the track unsafely after going over a sausage curb but calm down you guys it’s practice

- Grosjean skimmed the wall with his back tire 

- Kimi radioed in that there was another groundhog / marmot in the track and he was like “I don’t know what it’s called but it’s in the track “ 

- Charles keeps going faster and faster and making everyone look slow 

Quali

- turns out Stroll had an engine failure, not a hydraulic leak so there’s the home race curse for you 

- Q1incident of Sainz holding up Albon’s fast lap will be investigated after the session although we did not see what actually happened 

Oh wow thanks Ferrari for letting Charles get into Q2 this week, what a luxury (still so disgusted by what happened in Monaco)

- WOW now there is an INSANELY ludicrous idea to investigate Charles for “rejoining the track unsafely” after locking up and going over a curb and it’s outrageous, unbelievable 

- Max is still in bottom 5 elimination zone with 2 min to go in Q2 because of traffic 

- Just when Max was going to go on his fast lap at the last minute, Kmags has a HUGE crash at the Wall of Champions and everything was red flagged and now Max is out in Q2 and now they’re cleaning up the track 

-in Q3 Bottas spun and somehow kept it out of the wall amazingly

- SEB STOLE POLE AT THE LAST SECOND and beat Hamilton’s pole!!! And Charles 3rd!! And Daniel 4th weirdly

Pre-Race

- This program is bunched in together with the rest of the race program which on ABC this weekend for some reason. So we couldn’t tell if we could get the grid walk for this race but it is in there. thank goodness

- Of course they’re talking to Hamilton and this really cool child who is way cooler than Hamilton. It’s disturbing how Hamilton makes this kid feel bad about his dreams like saying his favorite superhero shouldn’t be ant man and saying this kid should always be mad when he loses. Hamilton seems to only know how to talk about himself.

- it’s hot and dusty on the circuit 

- Kmags said his car feels brand new 

- Charles always takes his sunglasses off to talk to Martin Brundle and Jenson Button 

- Max holds his ears when the loud planes go over, God bless him

Race

- Seb holds the lead after start!!! 

- Lando racing Max is like "is that necessary"

- Albon and Giovinazzi have contact and Albon loses his wing, squeezed between an Alpha and a Racing Point 

- Max and Lando are swapping places back and forth 

- Max and Bottas are spending a lot of time behind these Renault’s 

- 9/70 Lando Norris’s McClaren’s brakes are on fire and he rolls across the pit lane exit and parks it on the side of the pit lane exit and then runs to the break in the wall, quite a way and it was like THERE’S A CHILD IN THE STREET HELP HIM

- The brake issue melted the rear suspension off of Lando’s car. Unbelievable 

- How many more mcclaren’s are going to have to start on fire before they do something 

- Max clearly has more speed than Bottas this race even though Mercedes are claiming nothing is wrong with his car

- Wow Gio’s car almost went right into the Wall of Champions but saved it. The squirreliest thing I’ve ever seen 

- Seb pits first and then they left Ham out another lap and he complained about it and then they pitted him and now Charles leads but still needs to pit 

- Gio spins in turn 2 but keeps it out of the wall 

- Perez got past Grosjean with a brush 

- when Charles comes out of the pits, he is just behind Max, but then Charles gets past Max pretty fast 

- Daniel is fending off Bottas like a madman and I think he scared him 

- Gasly is way down in 9th while Max is in 4th and Gasly is stuck behind Lance Stroll of all people

- I totally thought the Home Race Curse would have gotten Lance Stroll by now but maybe it was his engine shooting 8 feet of fire in FP2 

- 48/70 SEB GOES ON GRASS FOR TURN 4 and then still keeps Hamilton behind him but then Hamilton complains about unsafe rejoining of the track but THERE WAS NOWHERE TO GO

- Mercedes reported Seb rejoining “unsafely” and now it’s under investigation WHICH IS RIDICULOUS 

- Max passed Hulk and then Daniel without incident 

- Kmags: “this is the worst experience I’ve had in any race car. Ever” SHOCKING after the whole team stayed up all night to fix the car from his quali crash and Gunter basically had to get on the radio and say enough is enough BOOM DRAMA. I mean, I can thin k of a few races that this one statement would have been bread and water for drama for the entire race

- Around lap 59/70, SEB GIVEN A 5 SECOND TIME PENALTY for that going off the track AND IT'S OUTRAGEOUS BECAUSE HE HAD NOWHERE TO GO, WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO, GO IN THE WALL???? That was the only other option

- Seb is leading and there’s no way to put +5 second gap up front before the end of the race 

- now Seb is talking on radio having to explain why this penalty is wrong as well as effortlessly leading the race, he’s such a champion 

- Lap 64/70 Albon retires from effect of previous contact with Gio 

- Kvyat doing some crazy pass on Sainz which was terrifying 

- some drama about whether or not Charles would accidentally take second place, even though he was in third, because of Vettel's time penalty, but luckily, Charles remained in third place because he was six seconds behind him, so thank goodness because it would have just been too much for Seb to not only have the win stolen from him, but also to be demoted even further to third place by his own teammate (although I am reminded of that horrible time in Monaco when Charles was knocked out of Q1 in qualifying by Seb, but that wasn't because of Seb maliciously trying to knock Charles out, it was just a maddeningly advanced level of incompetence by the Ferrari team)

Post-Race

- I LIVED for this post-race drama

- Seb parked at the other end of the pit lane instead of pulling in to where the 1, 2, 3 markers are

- now Seb is pushing his car

- It’s the rules to talk to Martin Brundle and Seb might not want to talk

- Seb is going right to the FIA garage, down the paddock and into the Ferrari paddock home and it’s amazing theater. Literally, someone said (I think it was Simon L) "theater" about this

- So the finish is Ham, Seb and then CHARLES!! 

- SEB CAME BACK TO THE PODIUM ROOM BUT BEFORE HE DID HE SWITCHED THE MARKER IN FRONT OF THE CARS SO THAT HAM WAS 2 and the empty spot was 1!! ART. PURE ART

- Hamilton tried to pull Seb up on top step and Seb stepped down back in 2nd places where he was

- Charles gets his 3rd place trophy!! I’m so glad he didn’t steal the 2nd from Seb cause that would have been too much 

- Lewis being booed and then Seb defends him to the people and says to boo the positions instead 

- Like how does one stay as calm as Seb did under these circumstances without just despairing completely