CANADIAN GRAND PRIX 2022

Free Practice 1

• they’re talking about Lewis being dramatic about his back after last race and I already can’t listen to it

• AH there’s a groundhog running across track!!

Free Practice 2

• nothing to report

Free Practice 3

• it’s POURING RAIN and the track is soaking wet so not very many people out on track right away

• They send out Charles right away in the rain and he is so brave and great in the wet, but it’s so terrifying because everyone is snapping around

• Super nervous snaps for everyone while exploring in the wet and it’s really scary

• Pierre Gasly confirmed at Alpha Tauri for 2023

• Visibility is like none

• Everyone unexpected is fast because of the rain so they are talking up a crazy rain qualifying to come in the next two hours

Qualifying

• IT IS SO WET AND RAINY that it’s almost red flag conditions but they manage to start on time

• Everyone is creeping around super cautiously

• Yellow flag at the end of Q1 caused by Sainz for going straight on but keeps it out of the wall, he just ruined laps

• Alonso NEARLY slides into the wall of champions but keeps it

• Gasly could be punished for not going to the right side of a bollard while reentering the track

• Incredibly, the stewards have noted Leclerc, Sainz and Albon for "driving unnecessarily slowly" and no one has any idea how that would be possible in this situation

• They had huge hopes for Seb on the front row but neither Aston is going anywhere suddenly

• Out in Q1: Gasly, Vettel, Stroll, Latifi and Tsunoda (who will start from the back with penalties anyway)

• They’re going to investigates the "driving unnecessarily slowly" thing after the session

• Ocon accuses Sainz of rejoining the track dangerously

• Sainz noted for unsafe rejoining the track

• Yellow flag for Alex Albon and he crashed but only very lightly and keeps it going and finds reverse and takes it back to the garage in one piece, gets away with it

• IMMEDIATELY AFTER, there’s a YELLOW FLAG for PEREZ who has crashed into the barrier and he’s trying to reverse but if he can’t then he’s out

• RED FLAG because the reverse doesn’t work out and he is out of qualifying and he will start 15th in this race

• Both cars that crashed so far were on Inters and it’s risky to go on them now so maybe safer to stick to the wets?

• They make Sergio walk through a terrible tiny muddy path next to a drop off into the sea and like even Martin is like "really why didn’t they send him a scooter"

• They dismiss the Sainz investigation

• Suddenly there is grip at the end of q2 and it’s a complete toss up since everyone is finding speed out of nowhere

• Lando has a power unit issue that ruins his last good lap and it costs him getting into q3

• Out in Q2: Bottas, Albon, Perez (for thé crash), Norris (for PU issue) and Leclerc (who is taking penalties anyway so didn’t run)

• George Russell shocks everyone by putting on softs with four minutes to go and if he has timed it right he might catch everyone out, but just like Martin thought, it wasn’t time for slicks yet and George went off on turn 1 like Martin thought was the danger zone

• Zhou investigated after the session for failing to follow race directors instructions but no one saw what it was about

• MAX ON POLE!! Sainz made a mistake and only gets second UNTIL ALONSO STEALS SECOND and starts on the front row! Sainz third.

• Oh my gosh Alonso in second, this is surreal!! What a WILD qualifying, very stressful stuff

• Crowd chanting Alonso after qualifying and you just can’t help but smile watching this

Race

• Maxy retains lead! No major incident in turn 1

• Kevin has a damaged wing

• Sainz passes Alonso within the first few laps

• Ocon tries to get a black and orange flag for Kevin and does so Kevin has to put early

• Bottas gets black and white flag for going across the chicane and hitting the bollard he is supposed to go around

• Sainz having very bad graining

• 9/70 NOOOO PEREZ ENGINE OUT AND HYDRAULICS GONE SO virtual safety car and Perez is out

• Lots of exciting racing and Charles moving up the field

• 20/70 vsc for little Schumacher is out! Thank God he didn’t crash but it was just total mechanical failure and he was running in the top 10

• Slow pit stop for Daniel oh no and then for Lando too

• Alonso is dropping back in positions

• Charles sabotaged by Ferrari AGAIN when they bungle his pit stop when they finally allow him to pit

• Max pits and then Hamilton gets in front of him for a lap but then Hamilton pits and Max is back where he should be

• 49/70 Yuki just literally crashed out of nowhere and it is exactly what Ferrari wanted to give Sainz a chance at the lead so we’ll see

• Everyone is making a big deal of Sainz right behind Max for the lead but no, that’s not happening

• Alonso says he’s a hundred times faster than Ocon all weekend hahahah so true

• Max wins in Canada!!! Then Sainz who of course couldn’t pass Max. And then Lewis which is the first time he’s been on the podium this year