PORTUGUESE GRAND PRIX

Well, that was dramatic. But, to be fair, all of that drama happened mostly on the radio.

My favorite thing about the weekend was that it was definitely Lance Stroll's most embarrassing weekend of all time. After a while, you just get sick of hearing people talk about the people who have bought their way into the sport the same way that actual great drivers are being talked about, so it's nice to have some comeuppance every once and a while.

Everyone was saying that Max hit Stroll in the practice, when that was never even claimed by the stewards. And, finally, in the race, Stroll was hit with two separate and well-earned penalties, until he finally had to retire near the end of the race. Good times.

My other favorite thing about the weekend was when the race started and it looked like something exciting might happen when Sainz got out in front. But, sadly, everything fell back into line pretty quickly.

FP1

• first time we’ve been to Portimao track

• Magnussen and Grosjean have announced they’re both leaving Haas next year! Will Haas even be a team next year? Are they leaving the team cause it won’t be there?

• Assuming Haas is still a team next year, who will drive for them? Will Perez still have a place? Hulk?

• The track has just been resurfaced so it’s very slippery and all the drivers are saying it’s like being in a drift car

• Lance Stroll is back in the car this weekend even though he revealed a few days ago that after last race two weeks ago, he got Covid so no one is sure how that timeline works out but Racing point is insisting that all they have followed all the protocols

• Hulk is at this track watching after driving for lance last race

• Lots of spins with drivers learning the track and the new pavement

FP2

• Gasly pulls over and the entire back of his car is quickly on fire and there a ton of fire damage instantly and he gets out of the car but he pulled over on the inside of the track where the fire marshals have to cross the track to get to the car and they pulled a red flag right away but cars were still finishing their laps so marshals had to run across the track while cars were still coming around and Pierre ran to find another extinguisher but then the marshals got there

• Sainz passed Max under the red flag and Max called him a name on the radio and it seems their mutual dislike of each other is still strong

• Soooo Max was passing Stroll after the main straight and then Max and Lance hit each and crash and then red flag. Lots of discussion about whose fault this is and how it’s not a straightforward incident but how they definitely saw each other and the stewards are looking into it and this is a VERY high drama moment

FP3

• 127 laps were deleted for track limits in FP1 and FP2 so they updated track limits so that it isn’t as rigid

• Charles has a spin

• Gasly’s fire yesterday was caused by something to do with the electrical system on the engine so something Honda but it’s still unclear

• Somethings wrong with Charles radio and he’s hearing the wrong channel

• Red flag with one minute to go because Seb ran over the drain cover and flipped it up so session not restarted

Qualifying

• quali is delayed by a half an hour to inspect ALL the drain covers on track because after FP3 when Seb ran over the drain cover they realized it might not be the only one loose so they have to check the entire rest of the track. And there’s all sorts of hilarious shots of marshals looking at the track and trying to pour and dry concrete quickly and people trying to use glue guns to keep the drains adhered down. They don’t know if this problem came up when the track was resurfaced last month but the point is this is a LOT of work to try to do overnight because essentially the entire track is unsafe now

• Charles is one of the first ones back in the garages which is nice

• Quali does go forward after a half hour delay

• Out in Q1: Kimi, Gio, Grosjean, KMags, Latifi

• George Russell snuck in a great lap at the last minute and got into q2 in P15!

• A few people got at risk because their times in Q1 were deleted

• Yellow at end of Q2 when Daniel dramatically loses it in turn 14 but keeps it out of the wall and gets right back on track

• Out in Q2: Ocon, Stroll, Kvyat, Russell and Vettel

• Hilarious because Perez was in 4th and Charles in 8th at the end of Q2 and reflects really badly on their teammates Stroll and Seb

• Hamilton in first, bot in second, Max in third

Race

• some drops of rain reported on formation lap and on a newly surfaced track it will be like a skating rink

• really weird opening lap where Sainz gets in the lead AND it starts raining and Max and Perez tangle but it wasn’t Max’s fault and they say no investigation necessary

• Rain makes Hamilton lose first, second and then gets stuck in third

• Really exciting opening

• Kimi is somehow up in like 6th

• Stroll showed black and white flag for track limits and also has a huge flat spot

• Of course Otmar blames Max for the Sergio collision but stewards say no investigation necessary

• Charles Leclerc is driving in 4th still by lap 15, which is incredible, Seb is only in 12

• The tire falloff is insane and Max is falling back from third

• 19/66 STROLL HITS LANDO in a super dangerous move that is a ton like what stroll did to max in practice that was so dramatic

• NOW stroll and Norris under investigation but if they try and give Norris a penalty I’m going to lose it

• 24/66 5 second time penalty for causing a collision on Lando!! Hahahha awesome. Take that Otmar

• Rumors Kevin will go to Indy car

• 31/66 ANOTHER 5 SECOND TIME PENALTY FOR STROLL for track limits this time!! Funniest thing I’ve ever seen

• Grosjean showed black and white flag for track limits

• 34/66 Bottas reports a cool car warning on the dash and everyone’s surprised that Hamilton doesn’t have the same thing

• Great battle between Kimi and Sainz

• Great battle between Ocon and Perez and Perez gets past to fifth!

• Kvyat shown black and white flag for track limits

• Apparently Max is lacking pace because he is having to do fuel management because they under fueled him for this unknown track

• Grosjean five second penalty for track limits

• Bot asks for softs on the radio but they still put hards on for him in the pit stop

• Bottas pit exit is right into two other cars and it’s not the tires he asked for so it’s a confusing time and he hasn’t got any grip

• 43/66 lando has a slow puncture but they’re okay for now they say

• the reason Mercedes give for not giving Bottas the reds is that he HAS to do what Hamilton does and they say "that’s not the way we do business"

• 54/66 they retire Stroll for apparent damage

• Kvyat gets five second time penalty for track limits

• 56/66 lando gets black and white flag

• George Russell reports the wind picking up hugely in the last ten laps

• Lewis on the radio complaining about a cramp

• Some close driving between Perez and Gasly and Gasly gets past for fifth!

• Incident involving Gasly and Perez investigated after the race

• Sainz also passes Perez on the last two laps

• Ugh Hamilton wins, Bottas in second, Max in third just like virtually every single other race. It’s worse today because it looked like someone else had a chance

• Is it going to be every weekend that they’re saying Hamilton is breaking a record because I cannot take it, I physically cannot listen to it. It’s ridiculous