AUSTRIAN GRAND PRIX 2022

Free Practice 1

• Ugh it’s an experimental weekend

• Lando has to stop because his car is smoking under his seat and it’s on fire soooo

• Red flag for a Haas losing some kind of ribbon thing that looks like a snake but it turns out it was part of the track all along?

Qualifying

• Out in Q1: ricciardo, Vettel, Stroll, Zhou, Latifi

• Lando is having a really hard time braking and keeps going over the exit of a turn and says he’s scared to hit there brakes because of how hard it is to control the McLaren

• Out in Q2: Gasly, Albon, Bottas, Tsunoda, Norris

• Perez under investigation for being out of bounds for a lap in q2 that allowed h him to get into Q3 so probably a penalty coming

• HAMILTON CRASHES by a mistake all his own and is totally fine and goes into the wall so it’s great because he just made a mistake like any other human being and he’s going to have to own that and it’s GREAT, it finally came true

• GEORGE RUSSELL ALSO CRASHES and now both Mercedes have crashed out of qualifying!! They both just crashed by themselves!! I am so sad for George but SO HAPPY that Mercedes is having a horrible day!!

• Now George is being investigated for entering the track without permission for crossing the track to walk back to the pits and it’s RIDICULOUS

• MAX ON POLE! And Charles in second!! And Sainz in third meh

Free practice 2

• not a lot to report, Seb lost a little bit of car, Charles made a mistake and could see that it was on the big tv screen while they were doing an onboard and commented on that

Sprint race

• Perez demoted for start position for exceeding track limits

• Alpine failed to take the tire blankets on Alonso’s car before the formation lap because of an electrical problem so they have to wheel him off to the grid

• Zhou’s car turns off on the last corner of the formation lap and causes a SECOND formation lap, I don’t know what’s going on but there is weirdness right now ???

• Alonso can’t start from a mechanical problem

• Zhou does start from pit lane

• Max keeps the lead, somehow Sainz gets past Charles in to second but then Charles immediately takes it back

• Gasly in a first corner collision and turns out it was Hamilton getting pinched

• Albon and a Norris incident noted where Alby pushed Norris of the track a bit

• Sainz is going after Charles like crazy and it’s super dangerous and I think it’s because he is dangerously overconfident after the stupid race win last week and it’s making both Ferraris slower and I hate it

• Albon gets a five second time penalty for the Norris incident even though I thought Albon gave the place back

• Sergio does an amazing pass on lil Schu

• Oh NO Seb is reversing out of the gravel after a small touch with Alby, completely crazy

• Hahahaha Hamilton CANNOT get past the Haas of Mick Schumacher and it’s so beautiful

• Aww Hamilton does get Lil Schu with only a couple laps left

• Vettel has to box on the last lap with damage

• Max wins the sprint!!

Race

• there is so much roaring and orange smoke that the cameras can barely get shots of the car!

• They’re saying that some of the fans have behaved deplorably? What’s that about

• Max keeps lead, Charles keeps second!

• Perez fighting George for fourth and then tries to go around the outside and gets punted into the gravel and gets a big hole in his side pod but keeps going and is dead last NOOO

• Tsunoda and Albon noted for possible starting procedure infringement and then they say it was fine

• Hahahah this orange smoke is so thick it’s making it so hard to see

• George gets a five second time penalty for causing a collision with Perez

• Charles is giving Maxy a true run for the lead!!

• So many drivers getting track limit warnings

• Charles gets the lead!

• 26/71 they have to retire Perez for damage NOO

• Gasly gets a 5 second penalty for track limits

• Norris gets 5 second time penalty for track limits

• 40/71 Seb goes off into the gravel when Gasly hit him and then dangerously reverses back on the track

• 5 second penalty for Gasly causing collision with Seb

• CARLOS CAR BLOWS and he has a REALLY SCARY INCIDENT parking by the Marshalls and it’s on an uphill slope and doesn’t have a brake on so it’s ROLLING AWAY and ON FIRE and the fire is spreading quickly and the Marshalls are taking their time getting over there and thank God they get Sainz out in time but it’s a real emergency cluster and now what does that mean for Charles in the lead

• ALONSO WAGS HIS FINGER AT YUKI to tell him off

• CHARLES REPORTS PROBLEMS WITH THE THROTTLE

• CHAOS

• NOW it seems Charles is having to pull the pedal back with his foot every time he presses it!! THIS CANT BE

• Charles has only a couple laps left and Max is catching and Charles car is refusing downshifts and he is still having to pull back the pedal to control the downshifts and will this be a repeat of 2019 Austria when Max passed Charles in the last couple laps, WHAT IS HAPPENING

• Potential release in unsafe conditions for Alonso?

• CHARLES WINS!!!! Max in second!! So much orange smoke goi t off and it’s beautiful

• Both Haas getting points, second weekend in the row for points for lil Schu

• Ugh Hamilton in third

BRITISH GRAND PRIX 2022

This was a VERY dramatic race and weekend. Scary crash with Zhou in the first lap of the race.

Free Practice 1

• SUCH a boring session because rainy so nothing to report

• Everyone went out at the last minute and then Lance went I to the gravel with a minute left and red flag

Free Practice 2

• absolutely nothing is happening at all and they’re just going on and on about hamilton at every opportunity

Free practice

• again, nothing

Qualifying

• it’s a rain qualifying!

• First time Latifi gets into Q2 but it’s because Williams have a mistaken strategy for Albon his teammate

• both Aston’s out in Q1 and both Haas

• Out in Q2: Gasly, Bot, Tsunoda, Ricciardo, Ocon

• By a ridiculous fluke Latifi finally makes it to Q3 for the first time

• Keanu Reeves is here and he’s just great

• MAXY DOES A 360 SPIN IN THE RAIN AND KEEPS GOING EFFORTLESSLY and his time still beats Hamilton’s fast lap

• Ughh Carlos Sainz is on pole with a lap that came out of nowhere and it would have been Charles but he made a small mistake and it cost him pole

• So Sainz, Maxy and then Charles

Race

• HUUUUUUUGE TERRIFYING CRASH FOR ZHOU, all we see is his flying upside down through the gravel off in the background at a super high speed and then George Russell stopping his car and running over towards Zhou after seeing the crash

• No word for a long time what happened and no replays

• Like 8 separate bad incidents before the end of turn 1 and immediate red flag

• Separate incidents include Tsunoda, Russell, Zhou, Ocon, Albon, Seb was somehow involved, Hamilton too

• Long extraction for Zhou And it tossed him between the fence

• CRAZY RESTART and Sainz gets the lead

• SAINZ HAS UNFORCED ERROR and Max gets the lead!!

• BUT THEN MAX HAS A PUNCTURE so he loses the lead again

• Now Sainz and Leclerc are battling for the lead

• The amount of drama has been INCREDIBLE AND UNABLE TO EVEN GET CLOSE TO DOCUMENTING

• Yuki hit his teammate and got a five second penalty and then there’s a second incident between them

• Aww they have to retire Bottas too so Alfa Romeo has had the worst day ever

• Charles gets past Sainz and the whole battle is to keep the Ferraris ahead so Hamilton doesn’t win and this has been the most chaotic and stressful race ever

• Apparently there was a group of people that tried to get into the track at the beginning of the race to disrupt the race and were carted off by the police so I can’t even handle the chaos of this right now

• 39/52 Ocon has a problem on the pit straight AND STOPS THERE AND NOW SAFETY CAR

• Okay this race was complete and total insanity

• In the end, Sainz won, Perez in second and Hamilton in third ughh

CANADIAN GRAND PRIX 2022

Free Practice 1

• they’re talking about Lewis being dramatic about his back after last race and I already can’t listen to it

• AH there’s a groundhog running across track!!

Free Practice 2

• nothing to report

Free Practice 3

• it’s POURING RAIN and the track is soaking wet so not very many people out on track right away

• They send out Charles right away in the rain and he is so brave and great in the wet, but it’s so terrifying because everyone is snapping around

• Super nervous snaps for everyone while exploring in the wet and it’s really scary

• Pierre Gasly confirmed at Alpha Tauri for 2023

• Visibility is like none

• Everyone unexpected is fast because of the rain so they are talking up a crazy rain qualifying to come in the next two hours

Qualifying

• IT IS SO WET AND RAINY that it’s almost red flag conditions but they manage to start on time

• Everyone is creeping around super cautiously

• Yellow flag at the end of Q1 caused by Sainz for going straight on but keeps it out of the wall, he just ruined laps

• Alonso NEARLY slides into the wall of champions but keeps it

• Gasly could be punished for not going to the right side of a bollard while reentering the track

• Incredibly, the stewards have noted Leclerc, Sainz and Albon for "driving unnecessarily slowly" and no one has any idea how that would be possible in this situation

• They had huge hopes for Seb on the front row but neither Aston is going anywhere suddenly

• Out in Q1: Gasly, Vettel, Stroll, Latifi and Tsunoda (who will start from the back with penalties anyway)

• They’re going to investigates the "driving unnecessarily slowly" thing after the session

• Ocon accuses Sainz of rejoining the track dangerously

• Sainz noted for unsafe rejoining the track

• Yellow flag for Alex Albon and he crashed but only very lightly and keeps it going and finds reverse and takes it back to the garage in one piece, gets away with it

• IMMEDIATELY AFTER, there’s a YELLOW FLAG for PEREZ who has crashed into the barrier and he’s trying to reverse but if he can’t then he’s out

• RED FLAG because the reverse doesn’t work out and he is out of qualifying and he will start 15th in this race

• Both cars that crashed so far were on Inters and it’s risky to go on them now so maybe safer to stick to the wets?

• They make Sergio walk through a terrible tiny muddy path next to a drop off into the sea and like even Martin is like "really why didn’t they send him a scooter"

• They dismiss the Sainz investigation

• Suddenly there is grip at the end of q2 and it’s a complete toss up since everyone is finding speed out of nowhere

• Lando has a power unit issue that ruins his last good lap and it costs him getting into q3

• Out in Q2: Bottas, Albon, Perez (for thé crash), Norris (for PU issue) and Leclerc (who is taking penalties anyway so didn’t run)

• George Russell shocks everyone by putting on softs with four minutes to go and if he has timed it right he might catch everyone out, but just like Martin thought, it wasn’t time for slicks yet and George went off on turn 1 like Martin thought was the danger zone

• Zhou investigated after the session for failing to follow race directors instructions but no one saw what it was about

• MAX ON POLE!! Sainz made a mistake and only gets second UNTIL ALONSO STEALS SECOND and starts on the front row! Sainz third.

• Oh my gosh Alonso in second, this is surreal!! What a WILD qualifying, very stressful stuff

• Crowd chanting Alonso after qualifying and you just can’t help but smile watching this

Race

• Maxy retains lead! No major incident in turn 1

• Kevin has a damaged wing

• Sainz passes Alonso within the first few laps

• Ocon tries to get a black and orange flag for Kevin and does so Kevin has to put early

• Bottas gets black and white flag for going across the chicane and hitting the bollard he is supposed to go around

• Sainz having very bad graining

• 9/70 NOOOO PEREZ ENGINE OUT AND HYDRAULICS GONE SO virtual safety car and Perez is out

• Lots of exciting racing and Charles moving up the field

• 20/70 vsc for little Schumacher is out! Thank God he didn’t crash but it was just total mechanical failure and he was running in the top 10

• Slow pit stop for Daniel oh no and then for Lando too

• Alonso is dropping back in positions

• Charles sabotaged by Ferrari AGAIN when they bungle his pit stop when they finally allow him to pit

• Max pits and then Hamilton gets in front of him for a lap but then Hamilton pits and Max is back where he should be

• 49/70 Yuki just literally crashed out of nowhere and it is exactly what Ferrari wanted to give Sainz a chance at the lead so we’ll see

• Everyone is making a big deal of Sainz right behind Max for the lead but no, that’s not happening

• Alonso says he’s a hundred times faster than Ocon all weekend hahahah so true

• Max wins in Canada!!! Then Sainz who of course couldn’t pass Max. And then Lewis which is the first time he’s been on the podium this year